Swan and Shadow

Dusk
Above the
water hang the
loud
flies
Here
O so
gray
then
What A pale signal will appear
When Soon before its shadow fades
Where Here in this pool of opened eye
In us No Upon us As at the very edges
of where we take shape in the dark air
this object bares its image awakening
ripples of recognition that will
brush darkness up into light
even after this bird this hour both drift by atop the perfect sad instant now
already passing out of sight
toward yet-untroubled reflection
this image bears its object darkening
into memorial shades Scattered bits of
light No of water Or something across
water Breaking up No Being regathered
soon Yet by then a swan will have
gone Yes out of mind into what
vast
pale
hush
of a
place
past
sudden dark as
if a swan
sang

This poem "Swan and Shadow," by John Hollander, while asthetically pleasing, also places upon its reader a sense of calmness and serinity.

Reading this poem really made me appreciate the beauty of the swan as it glides across the lake. Especially the lines "even after this bird this hour both drift by atop the perfect sad instant now/already passing out of sight" express to me the delicateness and grace of the swan.

Another thing I like about this poem is that below the water surface, in the "reflection" part of the poem, it actually reflects what was said earlier. There are repeating patterns, such as "this object bares its image awakening (and then later) this image bears its object darkening" that led me to this conclusion.

Here is my poem:

When the sun shines
Our eyes meet
For a moment
We see each other
Together

On the cloudy days
It all melts away
And there is nothing left there
In those eyes.

This it is,
My sunshine love
Your eyes are lit by sunlight
And sadly fade in moonlight
So I dare to dream again
But only when the sun shines.